A vampire that drinks animal blood, and resists human blood.

The Cullens from Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight are vegetarian vampires.

Attempting to just have a couple drinks in the spirit of simply pre-gaming, but instead getting completely shitfaced before even leaving for the bars.

"Oh man, we all went to Rob’s house to just hang out and have a couple beers but Mark was pre-wasted before we even called for a cab."

Deriving far too much satisfaction from glibly berating another with sarcasm.

"Oh, thanks a lot for drinking my last beer! No, it’s my fault… if I wanted it for myself, I shouldn’t have put it in the fridge!"

"Dude, don’t have a sargasm."

The energy required to write a text.

Forget it, I don’t have the thumb strength to text him. Guess I’ll just call.

When an audience grows weary of clapping, either at a ceremony or musical performance.

"That graduation ceremony was so long, I got clapathetic!"

"I was clapping at the beginning of the song, but I quit when I got clapathy."

Acronym. Stands for "If you know what I mean". Mainly used in instant messaging conversations. Can also be used in conjunction with "AITYD" (and I think you do).

"I could really go for a tossed salad for lunch."

"Oh, I’ve got a salad for you to toss, IYKWIM…AITYD."

(noun) The side of a body where a gigantic purse or messenger bag is carried, and an awkward barrier preventing others from walking comfortably alongside is often created.

I would hold your hand, baby, but I don’t want to get on your bagside.

The codename of legendary Secret Service Agent, James Bond

And please double ough seven, try not to destroy this one car.

A woman who is beard or disquise for a gay man that has not come out.

Tad doesn’t want his boss to know that he is gay, so Julie is totally being his walk-in closet.

The "echo effect" is when a slogan or jingle get’s into everyday talk. Advertisers love to get people to incorporate slogans into regular conversation.

Echo effect examples: Wendy’s “Where’s the beef?” or Miller Beer’s “I love you man!” Nike’s "Just do it!" These brand slogan reverberated in pop culture and infiltrated our everyday conversations.

To tell the world what they should be doing and what you think by plastering your car with bumper stickers to that effect.

Jim: That "Keep Tahoe Blue" sticker is really making me wonder how to keep Tahoe blue.

Mike: Yeah, Berkeley is full of bumper sticker activism. Too bad the sticker’s on a Ford Expedition, since keeping Tahoe blue involves reducing emissions.

(merf) noun. acronym for Mom I’d Run From. The opposite of a MILF. A mom you definitely would not want to do.

"I don’t know where she gets her good looks, her mom is a

MIRF!"

"Your momma’s so ugly she’s not a MILF she’s a MIRF!"

1. One who feels an increased sense of bravery over texting, as opposed to in person.

2. One who will often only say what they really feel over text messages.

Kelly: "So how’d the conversation go with Bill last night?"

Wendy: "Ah he’s such a textrovert. We didn’t make any progress until I went home and he spilled his guts over texts."

Your bare fingers

Person A: "Dude, I don’t have any forks."

Person B responds: "Just use your flesh forks."

Post-Election-Withdrawl-Syndrome:

The feeling of general depletion and emptiness in the few days after a presidential election. Caused by the sudden withdrawal of any campaign coverage, sound bites, or pictures of babies being kissed. May be accompanied by aimless clicking on news websites looking for something to read.

*NOTE: This condition has been observed in people whether their chosen candidate won or not.

Wife, to her Doctor: "I’m worried about my husband. Ever since the 4th, he’s just been sitting at home wandering the New York Times and CNN for hours on end."

Doctor: "I wouldn’t worry about it. He probably just has an acute case of PEWS. He should be back on his feet by the end of the week."

e⋅lec⋅tion e⋅rec⋅tion ĭ-lěk’shən ĭ-rěk’shən

-noun

1. the general euphoria experienced when your candidate of choice wins by a landslide.

2. the sexual arousal and excitement caused by same.

"Dude, when I saw the final tally of votes on Nov. 4, I got a total election erection!"

"You may have a first-time voter boner, but when Obama won I got a total election erection."

A child conceived after Obama was proclaimed President by way of celebratory sex, or any baby born under Barack Obama’s term(s).

I was born July 2009. I’m an Obama baby!

The best way you have of voicing your opinion in a way that can matter. Nothing’s perfect, and there’s always going to be mistakes, but there is simply no excuse for not casting a ballot for what you believe in. Take the time to understand the issues and then take the time to vote. Don’t let people who aren’t going to be around four years from now decide your future. Complaining without voting is worse than any hanging chad.

My conscience is clear because I took the time to vote.

Don’t worry about rocking the vote, just vote!

scorpios are sensual, sexy and mesmerizing. they’re loyal and sweet to the very end. they’re highly intelligent have a quick wit. all the scorpios I know are adventurous, curious and very loving.

damn that wendy girl is hot! she must be a scorpio!

Unlike guys who like gals, guys, or guys and gals; bike-sexual guys are only into bikes.

"I’m into him but it seems like he’s not into me. At first I thought he was stuck on his x-girlfriend but now I think he’s just bike-sexual"

The month of November in which you don’t shave any hair of your body but instead you grow more bestial, brutish, and manly.

The months of December, January, February, and so on follow and may also be included in this celebration of masculinity.

December = ("Don’t Shave December")

January = ("Just Don’t Shave January")

February = ("Forget to Shave February")

March = ("Masculine March")

April = ("Atrocious April")

May = ("Manly May")

My buddies and I all participated in No Shave November to raise awareness for the important and educational month of November. It is now a recognized national month that identifies the worth and meaning of celebrating masculinity.

1. Boyfriend or girlfriend

2. Word used to scare people

1. Can you handle me? If you can’t you ain’t gonna be my boo.

2. Guy: BOO!

Guy 2: Holy sh*t!

farting while walking;

walking while farting;

i crop dusted my way down the aisle at the grocery store

farting while walking;

walking while farting;

i crop dusted my way down the aisle at the grocery store

The feeling that you have heard this bull before.

Katie: " How come you guys didn’t go out and celebrate your anniversary?"

Nicole: " We were going to, but he had to take care of his little sister again."

Katie: "That sounds like deja moo to me."

Subtly adding the fact that you have a boyfriend into the conversation in order to deter anyone who is potentially interested. The first time this happens is the boyfriend drop. Also can be used in describing this event by the other person who was interested.

Related to girlfriend drop.

Harvey: ‘She boyfriend dropped in our last conversation but I’m still interested.’

To respond to a question before it is finished, often confusing the asker.

Wendy: So are you avail-

Jimmy: No. (Presponse)

Wendy: -ible Monday?

(silence)

Wendy: Are you?

The hazy feeling one gets after spending too much time shopping at large chain stores including but not limited to Walmart, Home Depot, and Bed, Bath and Beyond. Characterized by a headache, dry eyes, blurred vision, blank stare, sore feet.

Jane had to return home immediately, take two tylenol, and a large glass of water as her day of shopping was beginning to result in a textbook case of mass merchanditis.

Politics: Formerly known as "the double-cross," it refers to infiltration and sabotage of the opposition party, particuarly during (but not limited to) an election campaign. The second half of "All the President’s Men" describes ratfucking done to 1972 Democratic presidential candidates by employees of the Committee to Re-Elect Nixon.

Ken Clawson, Nixon’s communications director, confessed to a ratfuck when he told how he forged a letter making it look like a Democratic candidate was a racist.

A typical ratfuck is to falsely claim there’s a political rally for the opposition party, order 300 pizzas for delivery in the name of the party, and then nobody shows up.

When you’re about to high five someone, and your hands are just about to hit, then the other high-fiver quickly moves their hand away leaving you with a non-returned air five… you dork.

I had just gotten a new job and turned to give Amy a high five to celebrate my coolness, and she quickly dodged my hand leaving me with a faux five. I then felt very un-cool.

When the braking of a car is left to one’s choice due to an unnecessary stop sign.

Passenger: Did you just blow through that stop sign?

Driver: Oh, no worries. It was stoptional.

The act of, or state of being a slacker. Describes the attitude typically associated with being a slacker.

Most appropriately applies to one with no responsibilities, one that gets by pretending to be hard at work, or the co-worker that is found hanging out near the coffee machine for most of the day.

I just can’t tolerate that guy’s slackitude! If I were his manager, I’d sack him, no doubt.

A prerecorded call that is sent to hundreds or thousands of telephone numbers. An automatic dialing computer goes through a targeted list of phone numbers.

Or: an individual call received.

political consultant says… We need to record a celebrity robocall, provision it, and hit our base at least ten weeks before early voting.

voter says… Damn, I came home to seven robocalls on my answering machine. And nothing from Match.com.

a passenger who reads and replies to any and all text messages recieved on the drivers phone, thus alowing the driver to focus on the road and not hit anything or get pulled over for reckless driving.

Guy 1: "Woah, i almost hit that telephone pole back there, Dude you should be my designated texter "

Guy 2: "Yeah no problem bro"

1.) A bunch of bullshit; unsupported bullshit; a notion stated a fact.

Aww, thats haberdash if he says he can jump across that huge river in one bound.

a phone call (or a text) to arrange an immediate cuddle date. Not a booty call but similar in the call for satisfaction nature of the behavior.

"Hey Baby. What’s going on?"

"Hi. Cuddle Call?"

"See you in ten minutes"

The opposite of the royal we, meaning "you". Used by your significant other to get you to do something.

The Spousal We: "We should clean the bathroon today", or "we should get Johnny to practice his viola more".

1: a fictional person representing the whole of the people; mostly the lower to middle class.

2: a political strategy where one side asks the other what he would do for the above mentioned.

1) man1: did you hear what’s happening to Joe the Plumber?

man2: yea, they’re increasing his taxes.

2) man1: so if you became president, what would you do for Joe the Plumber?

man2: well, i would give him a big taxbreak.

When a person goes out to an event or club to pursue wealthy people, and/or get free drinks and food.

Tonight I am going to party for profit, my rent is due!

requesting something indirectly by way of a question

note: this is distinguished from a regular question because the answer is usually obvious

"are those peanut m&m’s?" (requestion)

"yes, would you like some?"

"yeah"

An imaginary telephone device popular with riders of public transport, those having manic episodes, paranoid schizophrenics, and just common talk to yourself out loud types.

a. Whoa, dude on the escalator is yakking away to no one and there’s no bluetooth in his ear.

b. Imaginary bluetooth in action. Probably on his way to the bus.

When you’re in a shower and have to blow your nose. You use your index and thumb and replicate the actions of blowing your nose then letting the shower wash the boogers away.

"Man, the other day I Shower Tissued and it flew onto my face!"

Australian, n , cans; tins of beer.

Hundereds of empty tinnies littered the floor of my house.

When a man sleeps with a single mother with a small child.

Also, when a man expresses false adornment for a women’s child in order to sleep with her.

Dude, look at John and Sara. He straight up shoplifted the pooty.

A situation or activity that has become completely fucked up, or, an exercise in futility. The phrase comes from the image of a goat, tied down with a rope, humping the rope but not getting anywhere. Similar to goat fuck.

These directions are useless - trying to find this place is such a goat rope.

For My Information

FMI, does Colin go to the gym on Main Street or on Water Street?

1) somebody who works in or for the media who ensures that the public understands things from a certain perspective.

2) a radio station DJ, or MC at a club or event.

1) we think that the spin doctors at the local TV station helped the mayor win the election.

2) the club boom anniversary party spin doctor was awesome!

When you are one with something. Suggests unity or completion. A loosely defined quality combining or uniting athletic skill with love and respect, as well as money.

This word is used in the movie Jerry Maguire by Tom Cruise and Cuba Gooding Jr. "Jerry, you are the ambassador of quan." And "Some players have coin, but I have the quan."

a particularly shitty male haircut in which the sides cover the ears and the hair appears to be "snap on".

Cha Chi hadn’t had a haircut in weeks. When he showed up it looked like he had lego hair.

a mythical male creature who is successful (read: pursuing his passion and can pay his electric bills/rent), funny, chivalrous, masculine (read: not chauvinistic), adventurous, artistic (read: not suicidal).

See any John Cusack film (or Chuck Klosterman’s witty commentary on Fake Love in Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Pops), any romantic comedy where the flawed guy comes through in the end…

"Too bad I settled when I got married, I just met my manicorn."

Average American moron, IQ 60, drinking beer, watching baseball and CNN, and believe everything his President says.

This is so simple, even a Joe Sixpack can understand.

Acronym for "Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt." Originally created to refer to smear campaigns used by IBM against competing products to maintain market share — "Nobody ever got fired for buying IBM." Often used to refer to a marketing campaign centered around the use of scare tactics or ad hominem attacks towards one’s competitors.

"The SCO case versus Linux is FUD, plain and simple."

When, in a last minute effort to become re-elected, a political figure happens upon a bit of "lucky coincidence."

News from October 31: We found Osama!

… although we really had his ass in a cell under the Pentagon the last three years.

Military term, ‘Fucking New Guy’ usually someone just out of training or just transfered into the unit/AO, who either hasn’t proved his worth or doesn’t know how to operate properly due to lack of experiance.

"Damnit, nearly everyone here is an FNG, we’ll be wiped out on the next op"

A people traffic jam that occurrs in subway tunnels and bus stations. Caused by inconsiderate workaholics walking too slow while their noses are glued to their Blackberry device.

I was late for work because there was a Blackberry Jam getting out of the A train.

A person who is obsessed with name brand clothing. See label whore.

Nicole always flaunts the latest clothing. She is such a tag hag.

Urinate (chiefly British)

"I’m dying for a slash, but there’s a line for the bog."

What you say to a person when you have been one-upped by said person in an argument or debate of some sort. Pretty much just lets you try to get the last word in when you have no other retort.

Person A: "Oh man! We got jumped by like twelve guys and kicked all their asses!"

Person B: "Actually there were three; Steve McPeterson, Dave Ellis, and that guy that works the Wendy’s drive-thru."

Person A: "Well, you forgot Poland."

What you say to a person when you have been one-upped by said person in an argument or debate of some sort. Pretty much just lets you try to get the last word in when you have no other retort.

Person A: "Oh man! We got jumped by like twelve guys and kicked all their asses!"

Person B: "Actually there were three; Steve McPeterson, Dave Ellis, and that guy that works the Wendy’s drive-thru."

Person A: "Well, you forgot Poland."

Abbr. GB. One billion dollars. An insane amount of money

Starbucks earned 77 Gigabucks last year.

Abbr. GB. One billion dollars. An insane amount of money

Starbucks earned 77 Gigabucks last year.

A political pundit or commentator who is unable to think for her/himself.

Fox News uses the opinions of politiclones to bolster support for the Bush Administration.

A political pundit or commentator who is unable to think for her/himself.

Fox News uses the opinions of politiclones to bolster support for the Bush Administration.

a double handed high five, reserved for especially awesome scenarios.

High five: Dude, you screwed the head cheerleader!

High ten: Dude, you screwed the entire cheerleading team!

a double handed high five, reserved for especially awesome scenarios.

High five: Dude, you screwed the head cheerleader!

High ten: Dude, you screwed the entire cheerleading team!

The peak of office employee stress levels which ultimately starts with the screaming of vulgar language within the workplace. It can often times lead to assaulting fellow employees, abusing office equipment and/or stealing of company property, abusing sick days and ultimately poor production at work. A possible side effect is that the employee continues to take out his or her rage at their residence in the form of kicking small animals and drinking heavily.

With my pending at work and the amount of people calling me each day I’m on the brink of desk rage and one day I’m going to break and take it out on that weird guy that sits next to me.

The peak of office employee stress levels which ultimately starts with the screaming of vulgar language within the workplace. It can often times lead to assaulting fellow employees, abusing office equipment and/or stealing of company property, abusing sick days and ultimately poor production at work. A possible side effect is that the employee continues to take out his or her rage at their residence in the form of kicking small animals and drinking heavily.

With my pending at work and the amount of people calling me each day I’m on the brink of desk rage and one day I’m going to break and take it out on that weird guy that sits next to me.

Sanitized replacement for "Fuck" used on "Battlestar Galactica"

"Aw frack and feldercarb!!!"

Sanitized replacement for "Fuck" used on "Battlestar Galactica"

"Aw frack and feldercarb!!!"

A term used to describe an electric guitar that is being played without an amplifier, or "unplugged." It’s still an electric guitar, but without the distortion and volume that the amp provides it sounds more like an acoustic.

Lenny’s neighbors called the cops to complain about his late night guitar solos, so now he has to go elecoustic.

A term used to describe an electric guitar that is being played without an amplifier, or "unplugged." It’s still an electric guitar, but without the distortion and volume that the amp provides it sounds more like an acoustic.

Lenny’s neighbors called the cops to complain about his late night guitar solos, so now he has to go elecoustic.

the child of a gay couple. plain and simple.

"Have you had the chance to see Dan & Terry’s gaybie? He is absolutely fabulous and cute as a button!"